i know

your vows were
double-edged swords.
you swore you'd 
the first time your hand
grazed my spine
was so sweet
i can’t believe
you’ve turned into this.
“i love you”
feels like me choking.
“i won’t do it again”
looks like pain.
“i’m sorry”
are words too pure
to be cruel.
the thought of leaving
has me shaking,
but staying

means further hurting.

i blame you

for thinking i could

stay and clean your wounds.

i’m sorry but i need

to take care of me

before i think of you.

it takes time to heal-

i know maybe once I have,

too much time will have passed,

and it might be already too late

to forgive myself once again

for being weak and letting you win.

i know these lingering lies

keep making us tie

in this game

we shouldn't play.

i know how hard it is to let go.

i know how hard it is.

i know.